Remembering 9/11 Year 23

One good thing about working for the federal government is the fact that we get all federal holidays off, paid. Another thing is that we get to see the presidential and VA secretary’s declarations for special days, the days that most people don’t think about that shaped our nation. The VA property is surrounded by flags on holidays and special days of remembrance. On certain days the flag is ceremonially lowered to half-mast. As a facility that serves Veterans, the VA does its best to commemorate important dates and events that near to the hearts of Veterans. Today, 9/11/2024, was no different. 

Today we took time out at 8:46 for a moment of silence for the moment the first plane hit the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001. The moment of silence was attended virtually by a large number of employees, including those in our office. Our flag is at half-mast today. Yesterday they put out the flags lining the highway and driveways so everyone would realize it was an important day in our nation.

When I wake up in the mornings, I turn on Fox & Friends to catch up with the news while I get ready for work. This morning was all about 9/11 and last night’s debate. I didn’t watch the debate. I’m still shocked that out of 380,000,000 people in this country, these are the two we have to choose from. It has completely turned me off of politics. But I digress, back to 9/11. I hadn’t even realized what day it was until I saw them talk about it and recalling what happened on their show on that morning. Everyone remembers it was a beautiful clear day with a beautiful blue sky. I told my mom a few days ago that I didn’t like a clear blue sky, but that isn’t exactly true. I think they are beautiful, but I just can’t see one without being reminded of that day.

I wasn’t there when 9/11 happened. I didn’t see the towers fall. I didn’t hear it, smell it, get covered in the dust, or see the horror with my own eyes. I was in journalism/public affairs training in the Army, in Ft. Meade, Maryland, about 30 miles outside Washington, D.C. What I did see was grown men crying, men who were my military leaders. I saw one of my straight as an arrow, no nonsense drill sergeants trying to hold it together as she watched dead bodies being pulled out of the Pentagon, knowing her husband should be working on that side of the building and she couldn’t get in touch with him because the phones were down. I saw fellow soldiers holding up a friend when she discovered that the plane her mother was supposed to be on was one that had been hijacked. I saw the shock, the anger, and the tears of my fellow soldiers who sat in the dayroom all day watching the scenes play over and over again on a big screen television, some didn’t move as tears rolled down their cheeks.

The atmosphere was surreal. There were no airplane trails in the clear blue sky though we were surrounded by six airports and airbases. There was no traffic through the base. It was quiet. People spoke with quiet voices or not at all. Drill sergeants didn’t yell, they even took their hats off and put themselves on our level. Occasionally, I would hear the quiet sniffling of another one breaking down. That night when the President spoke, there were probably 150 of us crammed into a dayroom meant for less than 50. You could have heard a pin drop while the President spoke.

I’m glad I didn’t see the World Trade Center first-hand. I don’t think I am strong enough to handle it. I’ve gotten angry with myself many times for how I have handled 9/11. I swore when it happened that I would never forget it. For the first 15 or so years, I would sit home in the dark and watch the same 9/11 documentaries and cry and get angry and sad and just go through all the emotions all over again, and maybe have a strong drink or two to numb the emotions. For the past few years, I have gotten angry with myself for not keeping my tradition, but maybe if just turning on the television and realizing what day it is makes me feel like I have all day, just maybe I don’t need to do it anymore. I heard a song today that brought tears to my eyes, because it was a song that was from that time and it just hit my heart.

My life changed on 9/11. Never before had I seen people choosing to die on national television. That day I saw people jumping from the towers in real time. I remember hearing a news broadcast in one of the documentaries and behind the reporter there were random loud thumps. The reporter at one point said that he has been told that the thumps were bodies of the people jumping, hitting the roof. How does one report that and not fall apart? I don’t blame people for jumping, if it was between jumping or burning to death, I would probably do the same. I can’t imagine having a loved one in that building and seeing people jumping and wondering if your loved one was having to make a choice like that. I think we have been conditioned by watching television and movies that scenes like these are just entertainment. It is when it hits us that the world saw three thousand of our fellow humans die live on national television that we realize just how devastating it actually was. Yes, I grew up a bit that day. I love deeper, hug harder, try to understand people more and I am much more tolerant of the views that are not mine. It doesn’t matter how much I disagree with someone, that someone is my fellow person and I can wish them no harm.

I see this generation of teenagers that was born after 9/11 and they don’t have a clue about the day, and rightly so. They can watch the news clips, but they can never feel what that day was like. That was our hell to endure. That is the scar we will take to the grave, like our grandparents took Pearl Harbor. The next generations will probably have their own horrible day that only they will understand.

If you were here on 9/11, remember the horror of that day and the pain, the anger, the confusion you felt. Remember all the innocent lives that were lost and remember the loved ones you still have and thank God for them. Love those who don’t think like you and remember, they are God’s children too. Pray there is never another day in America like 9/11/2001.